This 4th of July saw me under a shade tree sizzling and curling around the edges in the heat. From what I understand, the weather hit about 105..none the less I wasn't feeling any pain having downed a couple of margaritas noshing on spring rolls and fruit. 

I do enjoy backyard bbq's and hanging out with Layalani (Demon's mother) and the rest of the group of interesting people sparked my party going mood. There was a huge back yard pool the sort above ground and good fun was had by all with all the splashing, shrieking and general mayhem.  Rock-a-billy music was blasting, surfing dead anyone?

I announced we were out of margaritas and Layalani cheerfully motioned me to accompany her to the kitchen..
I watched her in the kitchen making the cocktail mix for the pitcher and I wanted to laugh, she was weaving back and forth..not two sheets to the wind, we be talking full sail baby! one part margarita mix, half a bottle of rum, a couple of handfuls of ice in a mixer..churn the whole thing up and VOILA! instant tropical YUM..

I came home with a rip roaring headache and crashed out on the futon, I awoke two hours later and haven't gone back to sleep since. this heat makes sleeping difficult. *wry grin* I know Im not the only one in El Jay land..

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 My hookah Gypsy took a great leap off the small table I had in my room and broke in several pieces, shisha scattered across the floor, I was staring at the mess in complete disbelief. What to do? I jumped onto craig's list and posted in the want ads

WANTED A hookah two hoser. I explained what had happened and added "gently used or used a lot? SURE! I didn't post how much money I was going to offer, because I had none! (uh huh...now how does that work??)

I pretty much trusted I'd come up with the cash somehow. Heh, I did, there was a 40.00 check in the mail the following day from a friend who'd forgotten to pay for a read and this had slipped her mind, she'd remembered and sent the check in the mail with an apology. All I can say is WOW.

later I got a call from a girl who'd read my ad, had a hookah, but somehow it never caught on with her and her friends. Not just a two hosed hookah but a FOUR hosed one, stands about two feet perfect stem for the body..perfect for Sea Dawg nights.

The girl paid 200.00 for this, I was dumbfounded and when she told me she only wanted 50.00 for it,  this was a done deal..so I scrambled to get the extra 10.00. She waived the rest of the money preferring to get a read instead. TOTAL PRICE FOR PRACTICALLY BRAND NEW  FOUR HOSED HOOKAH? 40.00.



So medusasbedhead  you don't have to send your hookah for the festival ahead of time..I can HAS A HOOKAH!
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Natasha sent me an amazing tarot deck, the Deviant Moon Tarot, dark, funny and very very surreal, this deck took 30 years to conceive by a guy who'd fallen in love with the tarot when he was a wee thing. His inspiration was the Classical Italian tarot (ahhhh connections!) thank you sweets! Amazingly enough, the Boi who doesn't display any interest in the tarot thought this deck was incredibly dead on in terms of accuracy. There's something about reading for one's own family that incites a conflict of sorts, at least in mine!





Sunday is supposed to be quiet, but I has a hunch that the phone is going to be ringing off the hook, and company will be appearing around early afternoon and won't abate till the wee hours of next morning..*glances at the clock* time to get a bit of shut eye for a couple of hours..hope all of you experienced an awesome 4th of July!

Boi had decided he was going to hang with Chad, Tyler and Robert. I just told him to have fun and to not worry about when to come home. Happy I was going to have a little peace and quiet I'd decided to check on the rattie kids who reside in a portable cage so we can take them from room to room. They were on the table and as I was cooing to them, the front door swung open and this got our attention. I admit I was rattled later, because I know the door was shut firmly. 

I had ACTUALLY HEARD THE DOOR KNOB TURN and I was thinking it was the Boi who was coming back in because he'd forgotten something. Nope, Nothing, nada. just the front door that was ajar. The rat kids were on edge and nervous staring at the doorway and moved their heads slowly as if they were seeing someone walking in and hanging out in the kitchen.

They did was any self respecting rattie did, they hid under the shredded news paper. The sense there was someone or someones here was overwhelming..I'd sat in the office chair trying to shake off the vibes, when I'd decided to just try to remember what I was thinking of before the door opened. I didn't freak out, I tried to figure it out..but it was a bit disconcerting to sense people here without their bodies.

Then I knew..

I know if I'd died and passed over, if my friends who are close to my heart who were interested in people they were in love with or they cared for them deeply, I'd be All for checking out backgrounds 'spirit' style to see if they were legit... I'd want to know if they were on the level, because I care and love my friends..there was a curious "who are you" feelings all over the place..

*****(Good KRISSST, this sounds crazy..yeah I know, but bear in mind what I do for a living and I always feel as if I'm living in several worlds, the only thing that grounds me out is actually seeing and experiencing the physical evidence which in turn validates my experiences because I can trust my senses...)******

So in short, I was being investigated..There was an unidentified sweet scent wafting throughout the apartment and I wasn't burning incense either.The last time this happened, I met and ended up with Dave. Anyone else after Dave was just temporary and altho I had some "visits" from deceased relatives that weren't mine but belonged to the persons I was with at the time.., it NEVER took the form this is taking now..I'm actually getting visual imagery, strange smells and Im now relaxed since I'd said, "HEY this just UNNERVED me 'kay?"

I'd know who those people were if I was shown a picture of them, it is THAT CLEAR.

Mood? I feel like I smoked a big ole phatty and I haven't touched weed in over 20 years..I can't figure THAT one out!

The ants in this hypercube home of mine are either retarded or desperate. I found then in my open bag of double apple shisha, These are the small sugar ants that smell terribly when they are smushed. I can well imagine what they'd taste like if I smoked 'em..

Meh..*picks out small crawlies* not much of them thank dog.

4 something in the am, I still have company, the guys are talking geek, the aroma of nerd graces the air, talk of World of Warcrack is making my ears bleed. I swear if I have to hear another stint regarding Alliance or Horde Im going to kill something.

I did get enough shut eye last night and Im still going strong. Im swilling Wandering Goat coffee from one of the best coffee places in town at this moment and my O my this coffee should be considered my liquid crack..

http://www.wanderinggoat.com/

The flavour is..incredible. Mike picked up a bag for me and as I had opened this small sack of pure heaven, I'd told him, "Im having a moment here" and deeply inhaled the incredible scent of fresh coffee beans. Coffee is to Kahat as Cat nip is to small furry mammals that meow..seriously. I have yet to visit that place again as much as Im allergic to hippies (yes they make me itch when I get within 10 feet of eye searing tie dye tee shirts and dread locks) that place is pretentious as hell with all the lovely artsy types with jaw dropping talent. the background music serves the atmosphere and incites intelligent conversation.
I have GOT to get out more often!

Dave is making noises about marrying his girlfriend. Of course its about finances first, makes more sense to combine incomes, better sense about living space, and eventually love comes next. The Boi congratulated him and wished him well. Dave talked to him about something and I overheard the Boi admonish him. "Dad you're P-whipped, you don't have the you-are-welcomed-to-step-on-my head sign on your forehead okay?"
ehhh I think Dave will do just fine. I find it hilarous that his 18 year old son is giving HIM advice.

The story plot is fleshing out. Im still carefully constructing view points from characters. I think I'm a bit over my head in this, but I've faith and determination to see this one through.

*looks at clock* damn, its 4:30, time to unwind with another cuppa coffee and get some rest..

Night all~!

No Im not a grandmother, Not yet and not for some time..but what is that son of mine is going to do? He'll have fun with his offspring, they are either going to love him, or despise the old bastard..

Pranks, Lots of them, one is in which the kids would be acting up, misbehaving, and he'll get a small bottle of water, thunder at the top of his lungs. "THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU TO LEAVE YOU EVIL SPIRITS" of course the kids will snicker, until he flings *holy water on them* they will laugh until the burning starts and they scream..why? He's going to put bleach in the bottle, so OF course its going to burn and for one split second they really will think they were possessed until they see him laughing.
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If he has three kids (count 'em) three kids, he's going to sit them down at the kitchen table and intone in a slow ponderous voice "I knew there would be a day when I would have to kill one of you"..Time to draw straws or figure out among you which one will have to go".. and then leave the kitchen laughing under his breath.
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"Dad you are never wrong"..

"that's right otherwise you'd call me mother"

his wife will probably strangle him in his sleep.
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*eyes those steel toed boots of his* I'm probably going to have to kick him in the head.

His poor daughter..If he has a daughter, Oh GOD his poor daughter..That girl will never have a boyfriend, he's going to scare the hell out of the trembling swain unless she finds someone with a backbone who will stand up to him.
if her boyfriend can take the old man down, she can date him. Yup thats right, bare knuckle boxing.

WHEN did I suddenly have Clint Eastwood for a son?

Did a read for an amazing young man with a voice like Vin Diesel, Sort of an Irish version of him, One of my kids brought him over and as I was shuffling the cards I caught a vibe of *extreme skeptic* as neatly as someone who'd just received a baseball, I smiled at him and said, "just wait"..

His face was priceless but he didnt' say anything. After the read, I had a nice visit with him and Mike, the Boi trundled downstairs and coffee was ground up, brewed and served with the usual snark which left us all laughing helplessly. He was silent throughout the visit, stealing glances at me, I'd offered him some shisha which he accepted and talk flowed freely.

When they left, the Boi and I were stunned. This guy has some serious power.

Mike later said, "Kahat you surprised him" the usual "NO FUCKING WAY" ..and "GODDAMN how'd She know?"  came out of him. As it is, I've got another awesome member of my family now, Andy is waaay cool with a strong heart and stronger ethics.

I loves my Boys and I loves me Girls. Im always there if they need me.
******************************************************

Thanks to 3circledsun I read his post about the contest on-line Esquire magazine and decided to give it a shot
http://www.esquire.com/fiction/fiction-contest

The three titles of which to pick from is

1. "Twenty-Ten"

2. "An Insurrection"

3. "Never, Ever Bring This Up Again"

Of course I chose number 3. The story is fleshing out from the bare bones of an actual event I had heard about years ago from the people who'd been involved... This haunted me throughout my life and those who'd committed this crime are long gone. *heavy sigh* I hope that in writing this I will release something, set something free for what its worth.

The rules are simple, 4000 words submitted by August 1st. First prize is 2500.00
DAAAAMN I could use the money..but for what its worth, getting it out there is more important. You know of course I'll post parts of this story so I can get some feedback and impute from you guys.  It is said in order to write well one writes what they know, and my god, I've lived a twisted dark and interesting life.
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*clicks the zils* time to practice where there is NO interruptions!*
*snorts* 2 am for gods sakes!

see youse guys later..

Just said cheerio to Mike who was dead on his feet and stopped by after work to hang out a bit..as he was leaving, his eyes half lidded with exhaustion, I pulled some fresh baked cookies from the oven and as I handed him a plate of chocolate chip cookies I'd said, "here you go, it'll make you as right as rain"..Matrix anyone?

he took the cookie from the plate and as I was walking away to go back into the kitchen, he yelped "goddamn its HOT", he's juggling the cookie frantically between his hands and I'm laughing..because as hot as the cookie was, the melted chocolate chips were worse, he tried to take a bite from the sizzling yet tempting object and yelped louder because he'd burnt his tongue..

Damn I lost it..I was laughing so hard,


Nighty night youse guys!

Some of those bikers were narly ole fartbags but stylish as hell in their leathers, Riders for Christ, Clean and Sober for life, and a couple of Free Souls. It was a festival of sorts in downtown Florence Oregon, the sun was out the breezes were sweet and I must admit Bar Food burgers and deep fried onion rings in beer batter were incredible. Spending the day with Char was just the pick me up I was needing badly. There were merchants on the boardwalk, carnival rides, and I'd done a barter with a lady for a bottle of vanilla oil scent that sent my senses reeling. She'd asked me if I was interested in joining her group for a merchant's gig in North Bend Oregon in November.  I'd arched my brow at that because as far as I'm concerned that place is an armpit of rednecks and Jaysus freeeks. I got an application though Im thinking about it..and I thought she was really really sweet.

Boi is still MIA, I'm sure he's hanging with Nick and Tij, Im grateful to get the extra space so I listen to music I LIKE and work on procuring more sea worthy items for the month of July. I'd just picked up some bindis for hands on line and I'm carefully crafting an outfit for medusasbedhead so she'll be right at home looking the part, gypsying about, bartering like a madwoman and getting drunk like the rest of us.  ahhhh GOOD TIMES. She's going to have some silly assed memories and I'll be dragging her around encampments introducing her. Poor girl..*insert wicked laugh here*

BINDIS!! for the HANDS! can you believe it?



I'll be part pirate hostess too squeezing my body into a lady pirate shirt, yellow with black bodice off the shoulder..Im GETTING my damn tips anyway I can! I'll be working at the "Copper Coin" a carefully constructed party tavern put together by my friend Vincent. A flat fee is required and zee booze, it will be a flowing. The Honeyed voiced Pirate King from last year and I will be escorting people to their seats, drinking games will be had and a rousing game of verbal darts will be played..heh heh heh HEH..

Im seriously considering whether to go out for coffee with a really nice gentleman who just wants a good friendship. The trip down wouldn't be too far, he lives in Corvallis, theres a decently cool vibe about him and he's a wit. I enjoy mental acuity and I love to laugh. Im not looking for anything else but being a pal. The best friendships I've ever had was over a good cup of steaming joe. This should be no exception.

On the subject of Damon's graduation, NO one has told me squat about it (think its next week). But the BBQ is tomorrow and I'm invited. I won't pass up a day of great food, conversation and fantastic hosts..*grins* Not exactly the life of the party, but I can hold my own with no hangups or feeling self conscious. 

MEEEAT!....MMMMMMM...*licks chops*

The larger one is Poe. Morose, broody, yeah even gothy like, "once upon a midnight dreary, ere I ponder weak and weary"....I'll refrain from putting whisky in his water...Even if he's the alpha male, he's just a depressed quiet little man.

Boy-polar..his mood changes from curious, to hyper, to calm to on his back pleading with his black shiny little eyes
"dont' eat me"...

so cute tho, when they dont' want to be held they squirm but they dont' bite and thats a plus..

Upstairs to work on a velvet choli top to dance in, the weather blows tremendous chunks of grey..the sky has been threatening to rain and its just that sort of day to stay indoors with coffee, watching a marathon of the planet of the Apes and having heaps of pretty pretty material to shift through.

An update later...coffee calls and I must obey!

This mother's day, I woke up feeling sorta sad, not because of the mother thing, the day seemed sorta blah which isn't like me at all. I fired up a candle and thanked the Gods for my blessings even tho I felt like crap, I was still thankful for a roof over my head, food to sling shot at the Boi during meal times, sarcasm with love from excellent friends, and sweet notes from special individuals. I know I can pick up other's people's blue funk, so it was a matter of sorting out which was my feelings and which didn't belong
(here's where the term "KNOW THYSELF" comes in handy. I know myself pretty well.) Funky fog lifted and I got clear again.

Damon came by with my fixed laptop. His mother's boyfriend is a wizard with computers all sorts. There was no audio file on the damn thing. I was going mildly insane trying to find a driver online. A side order of epic fail anyone?

Thanks to him ...I CAN NOW PLAY MUSIC! I can play zee DVD for the tribal belly dancing lessons..*makes the happy face and watches mirrors crack* I called them up and said they can have me on retainer as a reader for the next six months. Yeah Im that grateful, I love sound and a silent computer is punishment. Hell if I could I'd be wearing noisy clothing just for the hell of it.

We smoked some lovely double apple shisha and the Boi who's been a snot rocket for over a week was confined to his own hookah so we'd not be infected with his creepy crawly germs. The shisha smoke seemed to clear his sinuses and he sounded human again. During this time, I got several phone calls from some of my girls who'd wished me a happy mother's day, one of them, Rayna aka "Wren" said, "Kahat you aren't just a mother to one you know". That was sweet and warmed my little coal heart!

Unfortunately, The kitty thing fell through, the people really wanted to keep him and I didn't blame them a bit..I was a bit disappointed and wandered back to Craig's list, found an ad with "FREE RATS" in the title..*blinks* So I gave them a call, found out they were students juggling school and work and could not spend enough time with these two little guys. Yeah yeah..rats are snake food, rats spread disease, nasty low life buggers, but to a rat fancier like meeee, I cannot resist..a soft spot in my heart for intelligent critters who come when they are called by name, loved to be scratched behind the ears, chitter when they are happy and watch everything their humans do. Some like one of our past Ratties, "Fearless" will try to minic actions they've seen. This particular rattie boy's brain was hardwired into the words "chocolate milk", for when ever one of us said those magic words, his head would bob excitedly.."where? where?".

Ohhh that's right! happy Mutters daze to y'all..those of you with human spawn and those of you who have fur Kids, you are still a mother!

Ehhhh bear in mind that here in THIS household, I'm aware of every nickle, dime, quarter and dollar here. So imagine my surprise when I was cleaning the office and I found two 20s under my keyboard..40.00? huh? THIS was awesome!I thought hell why not post in the wanted ads on craig's list for a tent?  the lady who was going to sell me hers for 25.00  just sort of dropped out of sight.  I needed one badly for Seadog nights..So I posted my request.I was looking for a gently used tent with all the poles, if there were rips and tears in the fabric of the tent, please for GAWD'S sake, the weather and the little creeping crawling critters, just patch it before selling it to me. I also said I wasn't ready to sleep under the stars so pretty please contact me! I didn't post a price of how much I was willing to pay,  just decided to go with the flow and see what turned up..

I got a call from a nice guy less than an hour later who'd told me he had a 6 man tent he'd only used once. Since he and his wife go back packing there really was no need for it because this was so large to haul around...and that he'd sell it to me for a cool 40 bucks..I stared at the money on my desk.

"dude you've got yourself a deal!"

he delivered it, I didn't have to pay the man gas money, he did this out of the kindness of his heart..

Oh holy crap..its like BRAND NEW! Im going to gypsy the shit out of it...WITH yards and yards of satin and velvet material inside and out..NOW that I have a camera thanks to dear ole Dave, I can take pictures!..*makes a mental note to pick up a memory card for extra picture taking.
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This place feels balanced after the spring cleaning, I threw a lot of stuff out and sold furniture that I'd never use..paring down is good, Im still in the process of selling stuff and I've made friends from Craig's list from just the buying and selling of items. I like this knack I have of meeting people and establishing friendships. Eugene has redeemed Herself in my eyes by the very chill people who've spun themselves into my life.

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I took inventory of the stock I have for making candles..Im running low on colours so its time to hit the neighborhood kids for their broken crayons for colour and Im still waiting for the roses in the courtyard to bloom so I can harvest the petals to roll the candles making them all pretty! yes kids these candles are hand dipped and hand rolled...

here's a picture, note the coffee pot and the expresso in the back? on the other side of the stove there's another coffee pot thanks to my lil' sister medusasbedhead who understands that need for bean!



Why do you steam creamer for coffee?" asks the Boi who is giving me a direct look. "uh cause I want this to be warm?" He said, "..the reason why milk is steamed is because then milk sort of becomes creamer. Creamer is Creamer you don't have to steam it"

Mr-I-know-what-the-hell-I'm-talking-about said it this way,"its like this, as you are placing a few sticks in the ground in front of the house so you can offset the flood coming..." He pauses to take a breath, " OR you are using a colandar to hold water and you wonder why there's holes in the damn thing.."

in between glaring at him and laughing because he's right, I sat on my hands because the temptation to smack him was too great!

AND for all you Drama Kings and Queens I give you this link


http://www.dramabutton.com/

Reply to this meme by yelling "Words!" and I will give you five words that remind me of you. Then post them in your LJ and tell me and the world how these words relate to you...

Lovely xavienne chose these words for me..

Boi
Roma
Passion
Honour
Eyes

1. That Boi is now 18 today, he's LEGAL Xavi! (starts laughing!) Seriously, I worked really hard to bring him into this world lying on my left side for the last 4 months of my pregnancy so I wouldn't go into premature labour. When he was a toddler, he'd find pins on the floor, tug on my skirt and give them to me. Nothing went into his mouth which was scary. He didn't talk until he was four and he used to scare the shit out of adults with his steady gaze. He very rarely cried and I would think he was this strange being from another planet with a clipboard and pen observing and jotting down the antics of human beings. These days, his sarcasm leaves most of his friends on the floor laughing helplessly, He's compassionate with an edge, is comfortable in his own skin, logical when he sees the world through scientific eyes and tells me there's an explanation for everything.
Doesn't stop me from wanting to smack him upside his head when he gets too mouthy!

2. Roma The lure of the gypsy culture enchants me, the spicy flavour and the hardships they've endured, so many people in Europe feel they are less than desirable. I have blood ties to those wonderful people. Contrary to what most people on the outside think, Roma's lives are difficult, but they are wonderful in adapting to where ever they are. They land on their feet in spite of misfortune much the same way I do. There are two types of Romas when it comes to reading and divining the future, those who bilk people out of their hard earned cash and those who are moved by a desire to help. Romas originally came from India and spread out over parts of Europe. I am Oma to some of my girls, Especially Spritey!


3. A life lived without Passion is a life half lived...enough said!

4. Honour is something tangible, an element one can rely on. One can sense that along with Honour comes trust and ethics. Honour also ties in with courage that springs from right action. This is what honour means to me. Honour also means that when I'm wrong I'll admit it taking responsibility for my actions without judging me or the other person in any given situation. This took me a long time to achieve.

5. Eyes tell me much about the person, not just the windows to the soul as poets would have you believe..but the workings of their mind and emotions displayed openly. One cannot hide if you know how to read eyes properly.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SPAWN OF MINE..*plots to get your stuff packed and ready to go!*

On the eve of the prom in which Michelle and I were going to read tarot for all those wonderful kids, there was a small group of outraged parents who demanded that we did not make an appearance because they were dead set against the idea of having anything to do with the occult. I blinked a couple of times.."What??" I'd said.. The girl who was putting this all together was apologising, she was near tears explained what the principal had said so I guess wasn't such a good guy either and completely drove home his point in that wonderful way "most" Christians do. Hell fire and brimstone much? Note I said most, barring the real ones who love all people whether they follow the teachings of Jesus or not.

Heh..here's my take on the matter..



Michelle was also planning on doling out condom roses along with her readings, because prom IS that special magical night *wry grin*,



They really missed out on having a couple of old broads with a sense of humour...good GODS, this is Eugene..what is happening here? *scratches head*..so we hung out here in the office and traded reads, she did some fantastic energy work with me and I'll be learning the three levels of Reiki which is a holistic form of therapy, the origins of this practice are from Japan. Medical science has found no real physical effects they can document, but I'll tell you guys this much, I FELT it and I trust my senses enough to know there was a most definite result I was feeling and like the domino effect Im still feeling the rushes throughout my body in the form of goosebumps hours later, but more centered than I have been.

my gods its like close to 5 am, I better get some shut eye..

Night y'all..

MY GOD the Boi takes bitching and complaining and makes it an Art! I got motivated several weeks ago and Im still doing spring cleaning, he's bitching because he's forced to move his furniture back the way it was because the way he wanted it there wasn't a path to get to his bed, nor the t.v. and most of his friends had to step over his weight set and the ottoman to get to a place to sit.

He can't sleep either, so he's clearing out some of his stuff..this place got an incredible face lift..

I've got huge amounts of hits from Spain on my flag counter, sort of getting up there with the U.S. I have ONE AWESOME friend on my friend's list from Spain arafel1  but the rest is beginning to creep me out a little, compounded by the freaky email from a lesbian admonishing me about that "thug" Im in love with. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE who think they can speak for me?? I won't go into the narly details, but after reading, her email I was struck by how incredibly vulgar she was and lacking in complete manners. In addition, her English sucked rotten eggs..Jealous much honey? Some of us aren't wired up in the way you live and have sex. Do as you will, but stay the HELL out of my sexuality, Im very happy to be "dirtied" by that "Thug" thank YOU very much.

I've got great news in the tarot Biz, me and my pal Michelle aka The Ginger Dragon, are going to be hanging out doing reads on Saturday Night at a Prom at one of the high schools for $$!  I've read for some of these kids before, Michelle has a tremendous amount of energy and her laugh is infectious, her talent is also moving stuck and negative energy out of people, keeping the healthy connections intact. I'll be doing a couple of sessions with her and trading off reads for her in the process.

and just because I could not resist..(got a soft spot in me heart for bats and rats!)

..

you all can make with the "awwwwwww's" now..

         
Boi is home, happy with his speakers, Im in the other part of the office doing card layouts..

and whats best of all? notice the starbucks coffee? yeah, I'm loved..seriously.

My gal Mol stopped by on one of her business travels, we had a terrific visit catching up on silly events in both our lives..I typed in Flogging Molly on Pandora and WOW, we were listening to The Tossers, Drop Kick Murphys, the Pogues, Flogging Molly of course, The Real Mckenzies.. and The young Dubliners, my GOD This would be awesome party music for the pirate crew!

thank you Mol for the brownies and the poppers, the Boi made short work of those..glad I nabbed the brownie when I did!

Im taking a break from Spring cleaning..yup Im twisted..active during the day??. I tried I really tried to fit myself into a routine of getting up at 7, going to bed at 10...Im TIRED!  too much sleep, hell I do fine on 4 hours of sleep a night...but thats not news.

I took my customary walk to the mall to pick up a couple of things, I really should park my silly ass at the coffee shop there and just people watch...There were so many folks there who were shopping as I'd hurried over to the Briar Shoppe.

  I did notice that the one common element they all seemed to share was a strong measure of unhappiness. This bothered me, I have my share of this, but for the most part I realise this doesnt' serve me and its a matter of seeing this inside of myself and not buying into the pattern that pain incites. Sometimes I wish I could just wave my hand and take this away for everyone I've seen so they could have peace of mind for a day just to feel good.

There are clues to how a person feels. The way in which they walk, shuffling or the loudness of their shoes clicking, or walking with hunched shoulders, how they hold their parcels, the expressions on their faces, gives me an idea of what they are feeling at that moment.

I sure got a lot of dirty looks from women which surprised me. These are females with money to burn, beautifully done up hair, clothes I could never afford. My response to them was pretty much why waste your time being negative towards a stranger? men give me curious looks, heh, maybe Im just a different flavour than they are used to!

Then I realised that over a period of time, I grew to be more comfortable in my body, I own myself, Im not at the mercy of what people think of me, if this makes sense?

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Eh..more computer fuckery, the Boi's computer speakers went out yesterday but theres a guy who advertised on Craig's list about speakers he just came into. We struck a deal and he's delivering them in about 30 minutes..the Boi will have a pleasant surprise when he comes back from school. *grins*. My lap top is at a friend's house and he's working on restoring the audio so I'll be able to play music! what did I promise to give in return? A composite read for him and his girlfriend, this will help us both so much!
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I was out of good coffee..I stared down the doom of disaster coffee beans, nope I didn't throw those stale assed beans out in the trash like they should have. (coffee sense yanno?) I decided that maybe JUST maybe a dash of vanilla extract might restore something or at least mask the taste. I brewed them and added a bit of cinnamon. I actually made myself a decent cup of coffee!

Off to shuffle for the last round of reads.

You guys are amazing! thank you for hearing my distress call!

The guy I spoke to on Craig's list, is offering me a trade, my busted T.V's gathering dust in the shed for the great working monitor still in the box..*falls over in a dead faint*..Over the past several years they sort of fizzled..the shed will get clearer and these things are HUGE, I can't move them.

The vacuum cleaner died in the middle of getting things done, I was seriously freaked because this place gets dirty quickly..

however? I can has a new dirt devil!? *blinks* The lady who is moving didn't need it anymore..and VOILIA!..

Brandon needed a new charger for his cell phone, found one on ebay and didn't have paypal..so I paid the asking fee which wasn't that much and he gave me two keyboards. All I need is a mouse!

There's a guy who is coming out to take a look at the hide-a-bed couch and chances are, he'll take that huge damn thing out of here..cause hell, free is pretty good if you ask me..and I need the space, this office is tiny enough!

Breathes*...things will work out better than if I planned it myself...I LOVE THAT MANTRA!

You Are a Cougar

You have more strength than most people, and with it, the ability to inflict a lot of harm. Your power gives you confidence, and you find leading others to be easy. You believe that you need to the best, and you are very driven to excel. Most people immediately admire you, but some people feel very envious of your abilities.

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Just finished having some words with the Boi. TEENAGERS! what the fricky frack? thank GOD he's moving out in the summer! One of his friends is somewhat well off and owns a duplex.

*moans aloud and reaches for the Ibuos..spies a bit of rum and fruit juice?..headache targeted..MISSION ACCOMPLISHED*

His Royal Hindy is turning 18 in May, most people would tell me that I'd miss him etc etc..but the parenting style Im accustomed to is to pretty much to stay out of his personal social life.  When he was a small child I was determined to raise him to be the man he will be one day and hopefully make good choices and decisions and LIVE with it. I believe in teaching a kid by being a living example. This alone speaks volumes and therefore not living the life of a hypocrite.

..I don't consider him my "baby". I sure as hell resented being my mother's mouthpiece to echo everything she'd say as the be all and end all of truth..The way in which I raised him was to be his own person even if this clashes with my own personal beliefs..why make him into something he isn't? , therefore, why would anyone who really knows me would think that Im traditionally a family minded mommy? My spawn was loaned to me so I could raise him, he is and always will be his own person.

In short I don't own him. what he does with his own life, good bad or indifferent belongs to him. but raising a kid like this takes extra patience and allowing one's offspring to fall on their face, or raise himself above his mistakes. Its all him.

heh..some days tho, I resist the urge to smack him upside his head...like today for example..

You Color Your Life With Vibrant Warmth

You are light hearted and have a sunny disposition. You live a life of gratitude. You are open and adventurous. You're interested in young people and what's new in the world. You don't carry any emotional baggage with you through life. What's done is done, and you've moved on. You start every day fresh. You are optimistic about what's to come.

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One of my girls is going through some serious heart ache, I told her through past behavioural patterns this guy displays, its a given that he's going to be back with her in no time. He's been inconsistent in commitment, but consistent in his flaky ways..*Shakes head*..it doesn't take a psychic to recognise this but I cut the deck and came up with some surprising information...she just has to be a little more patient..

Tonight, I'd tried my hand at reading photographs that a friend of mine brought over. She'd handed me one of their family photos and I got a series of voices..not audible but an overall feeling..this is the weirdest element I've ever experienced to date. I focused on faces and started talking about them....in order NOT to break my concentration, I deliberately kept my attention on the photos I was holding in my hand. In the past when I do reads I don't require photos, its sometimes easier to "tap" into the person without it relying on the connection of the person, but this was definitely a first and kicked my brain into another level that I wasn't familiar with.

I may try this with objects that belong to other people just to see how it goes. Nope I don't get visions when I read, but I get flashes of insight and start talking about the people and events in a seeker's life...I love it when there's solutions that are available and Im the bearer of good news..keeping it positive is always healing, but there are times when difficulties are in front of someone, I don't colour it good or bad, it simply is and as all situations that happen, The annoying crap will run its course with the seeker wiser for it..I learn too. Every single person that I read for whether in Real Life or On-line leaves a mark on me in some way, The exchange of energy is always welcomed...

Fought my way out of the apartment and headed down town at a fairly early time for me. It was nice stopping in Big City Roasters the coffee shop across the street from Antrican. Theda was surprised to see me coming in so early. I missed her and the shop with more of the unusual objects she'd purchased over the course of several weeks... I trundled through the racks of sequined vintage clothing, curious items from India, saris, beaded belly dancing bras, coined scarves

by the wooden changing rooms straight away to my calm green office bedecked with tiny white lights strung around the room. I lit the candles, fired up the incense and laid the tarot on the table.

I wandered out amid customers and decided to browse, I'd found a 70's long black velveteen skirt for 8.00 and a beaded red (DOWN TO THE BELLY BUTTON LENGTH !)  crystal necklace for 9.00..*gentle cough* There went my transportation $$ for the week.
Business isn't as good as it could be, but Im getting by, that's all I need really..

Hours later, Char picked me up and we went for a late lunch at China Sun..my god the seafood was fresh, conversation was pretty lively and over Char's shoulder there was a man at the next table dining by himself, short of stature with intense looking brown eyes. I was damned uncomfortable..because he was trying to play eye tag with me and I was having none of it.

I perceived this guy as rude in spite of the fact he was pretty cute, I gauged in 1.2 seconds what sort of personality he possessed and short man's complex was at the top of the list. This loosely translates into "I have something to prove syndrome"

Point is..I trust my instincts, I won't hesitate to be rude because when I wasn't and I was a most polite woman, I was usually sorry for it because my good nature would be manipulated and used against me by ill meaning people who would not or could not understand social or personal boundaries. 

Char was amused, her radar was going off..without turning around to stare at the rude ejit, she looked at me and said, "So just HOW OLD will you be in a few weeks?"

Without missing a beat I responded with a straight face in mock seriousness, "Fifty-seven!...... Imagine THAT!"
She almost choked on her sushi. "I can't" she'd said in helpless laughter..

but you know? nothing I said in the course of talking to her deterred this guy who was blatantly eavesdropping on our conversation until I casually brought up in conversation, my 6'2 17 year old son..

Heh..that did it. He avoided me like the plague.

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Sammi, The Boi's ex girlfriend came over with The Chad. She'd brought me some French Roast Coffee from Market of Choice, The Boi eyed the brown sack with greed in his eye, but she'd said "I love your mother, I JUST don't love youuuu"..Heh he didn't care, he grabbed her and gave her a hug and a punch to the arm which was tantamount to waving a red flag in her face, She tackled him, tried to pin him to the floor, they match each other in strength, I just sighed and told them to take it outside.

He ended up taking off with Chad and Sammi to meet up with a few friends, I told him to have fun and I'd see him tomorrow.

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This Summer is looking pretty bright, Long range plans are laid solidly..The best things do come to those who wait *grins*

THINGS WILL WORK OUT BETTER THAN IF I PLANNED IT MYSELF..

Had a long conversation with Sprite..Boot camp left her none the worse for wear, in fact she did pretty damn good. On her next leave sometime in late summer early fall, she's coming up here to hang for a couple of days.
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Told Tij and the rest of the pack they couldn't spend the night here until Im off the radar regarding my position. We have an overzealous maintenance  man on the grounds who not only does repairs around the apartment complex, he also reports what he deems suspicious activity. What makes it worse is that he now has a residence here...and he's seen the comings and goings of my kids who incidentally  wear black clothing including my own spawn. Anyone who knows me here sees that I have a revolving door to my apartment. When he made some checks to my abode AFTER the 48 hour notice he posted on my door..he found several hookahs...and alerted the property manager.

When I explained what shisha was, "Its natural tobacco 'kay?" all I got was a glazed look.

I explained that shisha is perfectly legal that its even sold in the mall at the Brier shoppe

Still he's convinced we do drugs....*shakes head* He'll get it soon enough. We don't tolerate that sort of behaviour here period.

but the fact is that we are insomniacs and get along on very little sleep, so we are up at all hours of the night. This of course ties in neatly with those who would be tweaking and meth is very common in Eugene and Springfield. Is it easy to associate this assumption with us?

WHY OF COURSE! and we be smoking the green stuff! uh..no! not  420 friendly either! *makes a face* I can't stand talking to pot heads, slow, stupid and paranoid seems to be the usual traits for long term users. No mental acuity translates into being boring as hell and I have no damn time for that.

(EVERY HEAR OF COFFEE?? YES? allow me to brew YOU a cup of my fabulous formula it will either wind you up or shut you down depending on the physical state of your body)

This and the few holes in the walls upstairs in the boi's bedroom (the sheet rock is paper thin, I could lean against the wall the right way and cause an indent) These holes were also reported too.

*lets out a long sigh* I'll weather this ever keeping in mind what constitutes right action and right behaviour. Im not going to have a knee jerk reaction to this situation, this just doesn't serve anyone and being calm is appropriate to my well being right now....